grr..

it's getting on my nerves again.
it's all full of misunderstanding.
we really cant deliver our messages quite well can we?

Borrowed Heaven

All beauty all fade away, borrowed
All moonlight return today, borrowed
All sunrise all shooting stars, borrowed
All earth bound bare feet in clay
you know we’re standing on
Borrowed borrowed heaven
Borrowed borrowed heaven

All heartache all rivers cried, borrowed
Don’t stay out too late tonight, borrowed
I love you don’t wanna die, borrowed
You taste like paradise, I know I’m breathing in

Borrowed borrowed heaven
Borrowed borrowed heaven
Borrowed borrowed heaven
Borrowed borrowed heaven

You gave me life and I will give it back
But before I do, I’m gonna hold it tight
This is my prayer

All body, all skin all bone, borrowed
All silky, all smooth and warm, borrowed
All pleasure, all pain are one, borrowed
Almighty I stand alone
I know I’m living in

Borrowed borrowed heaven
To the end

~the CORRs~

chain_email_China_earthquake

just read a chain email from zhi lin. it's a compilation of comic strips of stories of the China earthquake recently.
...very...morbid and gory...it's black and white plus red, u imagine -.-///
well i'm a bit weak for this...

school sux??

yesterday my roomate said, "if i can learn just for the sake of learning, i'll definitely love learning."

...true. If only we can learn anything we wanted...
not just for the sake of exams..
nor just for the sake of completing the syllabus..

why learn things so irrelevant to your interest just because it is included inside the physics syllabus,when you only want to know about for eg. kinematics?

ok la i think it's quite an impossible thing to happen :p..

i haven't progressed much in my mugging....

it is wednesday!!

back acheeeee.....
been watching tv all day--oh nooo....wished they had a program on "objectives of firms"...

home sweet home

so much has happened during the 6 months that i was away...
...i guess things have kinda turned out like some drama series...
...THAT makes me question about some issues regarding parenthood and trust...
...about the loyalty...
...about the mask put on someone's face,if that person has really been wearing one all this time...
...about the truth...

alot of things yea!
My family is still my home sweet home, of course! I'm just wondering whether some parts of my extended one are still. hmm...

no point in thinking too much,,better be starting on my demand and supply notes!!!

hustings

went well...? took a surprisingly long time,,longer than last year's haha. some of the nominees had a lot of things to say,which was a good thing actually. but quite repetitive arh? haha but most of them deserved our claps,,they ARE good people,n we can see who has the potential and who is really sincere then :).
there's this interesting thing one guy said at the beginning of his intro; he was one of the last persons:
"I'll keep my speech short like a miniskirt"
"short that it's attractive"
"but long enough to cover the important parts"

(i think it's not as funny when i write it here :p)

thanks

Hey guys! thanks for ur concern,, i noe my blog had been kinda scary lately but actually it was not as bad as it seemed haha.
Anw mardi gras is tmr n we'll be selling our OH-SO HOT DOG haha. hope we hav fun tmr!!

should've gone out to study today. staying in the hostel just drained my energy, somehow, especially in such a hot day x((.
wasting time wasting time wasting time...really unproductive day...

feel bad for not helping my class out for the college clean up today... :(

choir concert this friday!!!

had quite a fun time today ^^. finished program booklet too,,twas quite nice!! haha, happy :).
well guys, we cannot expect too much in this world. there will always be miscommunication, there will always be time when ppl think they have no choice but to do certain things that confuse or anger us,things that we cannot accept, and also times when ppl do things they will regret someday. that's incuding ourselves as well. take it easy, it will pass, it will wear away :).

....sorry for leaving you alone today :).

what i need now is emotional support, not more obligations, not more complaints, not more of controlling my anger. i want to explode when i want to, i want to express my emotions. i've really been on edge lately, thaks for being a FEMALE. it'll always be like this once a month, thanks again for being a FEMALE. it's even worse now that it's my busiest month of the year so far. you'll have to bear with it unless u can help me control my estrogen and progresterone. thanks really.
i just want to be selfish,now, at this point of time. just let me be. i know i need to grow up,, i'll do that next time. start accepting the fact that at times like this i enjoy being with myself the most. i desperately need space to breathe. let me do what i want now, i know i'm being selfish. dun be too dependent on my presence, nor be expecting too much from me, it's not good really, especially now. you'll just be hurting yourself, sorry for that. i'm stressed up already i'd be overwhelmed with the additional pressure to do perfect and be perfect in everything (when nothing is really perfect now). i know i'll really be owing you a great deal for being really really considerate to me...

oh god

just gimme a break...man, i need to calm down, chill, and take it easy.. take a step back and not think about the frustration..
....................................................................................................................................................................
....................................................................................................................................................................
ok,feeling better now.....

no link in the end...

That was a chain email i got from my friend haha. i think it's a good reflection on the relation between God and science. i'm not saying "you who don't believe in God, are totally wrong",, nah. well, as a christian i can't say that it's ok not to believe in God, but as a human i understand that some choose not to believe in any kind of supernatural forces which may exist in this world. But it is always good to respect ppl's faiths (faith that there is God or not,whatever) cos nobody can explain fully whether what they choose to belive is totally right/justifiable/valid/whatever it is.

For me myself,i love my god. and that God is closely related to science. in fact i believe that He was the one who created science,please haha. i mean,for eg. even when the theory of evolution is correct,there should still be someone who created the first living creature right? even the big bang theory,,the huge mass of energy that allows expansion of the universe or whatever the theory is actually about,,how can the whole process arise? Conservation of energy,,energy cannot be created rite? but the fact that there IS energy means that it HAS been created once,in a whole lot of amount, and has since kept changing from one form to another. am i making any sense?

oh nooo...why has i started writing a gp essay?? yeah anw,,lucky ms tan's nt reading blogs. later she tags me "huh?", "these are only examples!!". not fun,,she nvr paste funny comments on my essay. like what she recently did to siew min's essay. haha,siew min wrote leave permits as "leaves",,and ms tan commented:"and branches and tree trunks too??", "u can uproot the whole tree",, "u can as well uproot the whole forest!!"

Science And God

'Let me explain the problem science has with Jesus Christ.' The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'

'Yes sir,' the student says.

'So you believe in God?'

'Absolutely.'

'Is God good?'

'Sure! God's good.'

'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?'

'Yes.'

'Are you good or evil?'

'The Bible says I'm evil.'

The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible!' He considers for a moment.

'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?'

'Yes sir, I would.'

'So you're good...!'

'I wouldn't say that.'

'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?'

The student remains silent.

'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

'Let's start again, young fella Is God good?'

'Er...yes,' the student says.

'Is Satan good?'

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.'

'Then where does Satan come from?'

The student : 'From...God...'

'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?'

'Yes, sir.'

'Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?'

'Yes.'

'So who created evil?' The professor continued, 'If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.'

Without allowing the student to answer, the professor continues:
'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?'

The student: 'Yes.'

'So who created them?'

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. 'Who created them? There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized.

'Tell me,' he continues onto another student. 'Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?'

The student's voice is confident: 'Yes, professor, I do.'

The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?'

'No sir. I've never seen Him'

'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?'

'No, sir, I have not.'

'Have you ever actually felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?'

'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'

'Yet you still believe in him?'

'Yes.'

'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?'

'Nothing,' the student replies. 'I only have my faith.'

'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.'

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of his own. 'Professor, is there such thing as heat?'

'Yes,' the professor replies. 'There's heat.'

'And is there such a thing as cold?'

'Yes, son, there's cold too.'

'No sir, there isn't.'

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain.

'You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below
zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat.
You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of
heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.'

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?'

'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation. 'What is night if it isn't darkness?'

'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have
Nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?'

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. 'So what point are you making, young man?'

'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.'

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time.
'Flawed? Can you explain how?'

'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student explains. 'You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something
finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.'

'Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?'

'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do'

'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?'

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?'

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the Commotion has subsided.

'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.'

The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?' The class breaks out into laughter.

'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelled the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no
brain, with all due respect, sir. So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?'

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. 'I guess you'll have to take them on faith.'

'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?'

Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.'

To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God.

God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.'

i wanted to blog about something this morning....but now i've forgotten what it was about....
yeah anyway,,life goes on haha...

climbing down...

i realise that my mood has gone somewhat haywire lately... it can just pluuungeeee down at a certain point of time and i will be very depressed :(( that's sad. i dun really know why but it's quite easy to break down lately. u know,, when ur chest feels so tight and totally cramped..
at times like that, i envy those ppl who can just cry naturally.really,,i think it is the best way to get over whatever extra energy stuffed in ur chest :p. problem is i cant just cry,,i will actually have to try before i can cry.and i dun like to cry in front of ppl,, i dun like it when ppl feel pity or become worried over me. i'm not comfortable with the extra attention (tho sumtimes i feel that ppl should start giving me some 'extra' attention,,but not too much)..just a few comforting words will do :).
well yeah,, "gatha is strong," said someone,,,thanks sis :). gatha really needs to be strong,,must hold on! must have faith!

what's the problem with her???

just yesterday morning, we were waiting for our bus at the bus stop near the hostel. My (girl) friend was eating a kaya bun for breakfast and she sat on the bench there. Then came this 'sophisticated' lady who sat next to her.

She said: "It's not very nice of you (or did she said for girls) to eat at the bus stop you know."

My reaction: "O.o???!!!!!"

i mean,, what the heck? what's the problem with her? which part of 'girl eating bread at the bus stop' is not very nice? and can you mind your own business please???

cramped

the crazy practice schedule is now much crazier.
hope the craziness would not be passed on to me.
hope i'd stay intact (mentally and physically),,even though it can't be helped but to be 'rather' pessimistic about the concert.
hopefully we are not that doomed,,and that now i'm just being a bit paranoid??

huhh well,i think i shd not think too much about it haha..
just take it more lightly... after all it's qui sera sera...whatever will be will be...
like what jinzhi said in her blog (i like this),, just do my best and i will let life do the rest :)

i guess i should just mind my own business :p
why should i make such a fuss over my friend's business?
if she's happy then i should be happy too rite?
just don't try to make things hard for her can?
just be grateful for her can?
cos she still wants to be with u despite whatever u've said to and thought of her.
thinking too much just brings u away from the obvious answers.

becoming sporean??

oh,,i was NOT talking about my boyf in my last post fyi :p haha
well i guess my last post seemed a bit serious. and from my last few posts u can tell that i've been complaining quite alot lately. and was more irritable than usual...
maybe i'm just pms-ing...sian sia...
or maybe i'm becoming singaporean...haha.... (i'm so random :P)

oh,please

for now my stand is still this: i don't agree with him and i think he's just being difficult and selfish. and for that, i don't agree with his reasons and ideals.
i won't say much for now. let's just see how it will go from now onwards. then i'll decide whether i will be able to come to appreciate him for improving his attitude.

the one the hod of student welfare mentioned the other time was... NOT ME!!!! hahaha
turns out to be some junoir malaysian scholars,,dunno who... :p

keep receiving complaints about the scholars lately

was why the hod of student welfare called the j2 scholars yesterday.
yeah a lot of complaints especially from around the dunman high hostel.
1. something like girls wearing too short shorts,,dun think she's even in my batch,,but is she even frm tj? i dunno

2. something like j2 scholars not behaving well in the hostel,twd the hostel managers,,i thk dodo's comment abt this matter in his blog is a good one :p.

3. something like tj scholars are very noisy in the morning (when walking to the bus stop? surely we passed the hdb are but...),, well we always pass by the hdb area on the way to the bus stop every morning since last year,and they never complained until only recently? so cannot really be the j2s what?? i think it's the new batch of secondary or jc students...that'll make more sense..

4. something like we're blocking ppl's way when we walk to the bus stop in the moring. comment: stupid complaint. anw,we always rush to the bus stop, so we can't be blocking ppl's way even if some of us are walking together in a group. if what they mean is that the bus stop is blocked by us. again my comment is: stupid complaint. well, we are a large grp here and we're using a public facility.around 50 tjc crowd the 2 consecutive bustops what can be done? we need to go to school. or maybe next time all of us can just stand in one long line to make way for ppl to walk pass. they can always say "excuse me,can u move aside pls" or sth like that. they hav mouth to complain but not mouth to ask ppl politely,end of problem.

5. okay, then something like my last post.

do u hav anything else to complain about us?
and btw ah,,do my last 2 posts sound like i'm having some attitude problem here? i really apologise if u think so,,gatha is just sharing some of her thoughts and experiences :p

an incident that got me wondering...

actually it all started a few weeks ago when my boyfriend was walking me back to the hostel...we walked quite slowly ma,then i saw my teacher mentor walking past us,,i instinctively greeted her. She din notice that it was me who was walking in front of her,,and she looked kinda surprised,greeted me back and continue walking briskly back to the hostel.
Now before i proceed (whoa this sounds like what lol), i wanna ask u this question:
Do u consider a couple walking side by side with the guy's arm around the girl's shoulders as TOO intimate???
Seriously,i think it's perfectly very extremely normal.And seriously i think i was kinda stupid to greet my mentor in that kind of condition.But can't be helped ma,i'm just simply a polite girl lol.
Yea,so some nights after that,she came to my room and said that she wanted to talk to me. i was completely clueless and was really wondering what it was about.
She began with asking if i knew chinese cos she's not really fluent in her english. i said i was ok,just talk and i'd tell her if i din got what she was saying. yea,my chinese was bad,but i could get the gist of what she was saying. it's about the other night's incident la! saying that she thought that we were behaving kinda too intimately,she was surprised,she asked some sincere qns,,,i really had forgotten the details but it's around there. but i nodded in understanding and ensured her that i knew the limits (of course la!!) and everything was fine since i knw tht she was really sincere. yea so i thought it had ended there.............

.....but again, yesterday our hod of student welfare calld all the j2 scholars for a brief meeting cos she got things to tell us (details in the next post).
yea so the last thing she mentiond was that she had got a call frm 'some' mentor that 'some' scholars had been behaving kinda intimately in public etc etc etc... (in my head: what the...haha,still at that??) She said that it is normal that at this time of age we fall in love and form a relationship yadda yadda yadda. But she said this too: yes it's ok to hav a bf or gf,but please,,hands off la! Hands off ah? whoa,,cannot hold hands cannot hug. why are they making such a big fuss over some normal things? i know it's their business to mind our business,but...
dunno lah. it's not like we kiss in open public and there's petting involved and we have sex somewhere,,whoa can't even imagine myself doing things that outrageous. chill teachers! i never did those kinda things!! and we live in 21st century! and i thought u're used to seeing couples walk so close in orchard rd,inside mrt,wherever it is in singapore!! and i din even (more like it's impossible to) walk arms over shoulders in school!!

seriously,,well anw i'm not pissed off,,i just find it kinda ridiculous that's all.and when the hod mentiond the gilr-guy thing, me and my friends almost laughed and smiled bcos we know that she was reffering to my incident lol. yeah..anyway...what a long blog haha...

...and inka never got caught doing the same thing as me. aiya,i think i must'v been really noob la :(

*coff**coff*

I'm coughing...
I had planned to go to the doctor after the last lesson of the day,then come back to school for choir. In the end i only went to the doctor with cei,and then went straight home to sleep cos my coughing got worse and my head felt heavier...sad but at least i got an hour of sleep and a more slacking afternoon-evening ;p.
Everyone's falling sick (at least my indon batch),,what is this eh??
Can't sing...sad leh...i'd be coughing my "yassa mossa" all along if i had gone for choir today....
yassa *coff* yassa mossa *coff* yassa mossa socha *coff**coff* aiyoh.....

(almost) fell sick...

hopefully i won't catch flu or something...izzit bcos of all the junkfood (mc donald's,kfc....) we ate throughout cny hols?? xian sia, most stores were closed,hostel also din provide food...no choice lor, ate all those junk food.
Gatha is struggling not to fall sick haha.

i'm so sorry,,you'll see more of my flaws but just bear with me k? am i asking too much? i know that sometimes i can just blurt out sentences without thinking,,and i can be selfish and fierce and impatient,,maybe u haven't seen much of it yet...i know those are not good for myself either..still trying to better myself. it's not fair,,especially cos you've been so patient and sweet to me,and i've had great times with you,and i'm not tired of going out with you though singapore's so small and we are certainly going to the same places everytime we're going out...and now i'm moving away from the main point already...sweat sia... haha,just laugh at it lol :p...

cny

it's another cny celebration away from home.
no,no, i'm not complaining or what,,been spending my cny holiday in spore for 4 years in a row alr,,and even if i'm in indo, we (my family) dun do anything special anyway,,just the angpaos and yeah...guess that's all. anyway,yeah of course we hav gathering at my grandparents' houses,,but...we visit them often throughout the year already,,and we also constantly gather with our extended family so....again the only difference cny make is just the angpaos lol.

spending the hols in spore....i guess we cannot really go out shopping or wad during cny...(almost) all stores are closed...the prev years of cny in singapore have been..quite dull too haha. even this year,when i have someone to spend the time with..i dun really know where to go....give me some suggestions pls haha. nvm,i think i just found the solution :p//

so anw peeps,,xin nian kuai le hor!! happy lunar new year!!
banzai from me ;p!

my family picture ;)

Haven't updated this blog for so long!! haha

Today we ran through Lucky Heights again for group PE,, wahh tired sia.

Yeah so after the random intro, here I go ;p

When I went back for the December hols, we took a family picture. And so here it is!

This is the whole members of my mom's family. See my grandparents at the centre of the picture (of course). I call them nainai and yeye, even though they're my mom's parents... Well they wanted to be called that way,, you see my mom's the oldest child and she has 3 younger brothers. And the 3 younger bro's kids would eventually have to call my grandparents nainai and yeye rite?? So they think it would be troublesome (for them) to be called both ways haha.

(I understand that the whole chunk of explanation above is quite confusing,, esp for those who don't speak chinese...my apologies haha)

Yeah so next we took each of the family's pictures. I'll just give you a look at my family, haha.

Many people say I look like my mom, but I think I got my dad's features too u know..like my nose I think haha, and my cheek (?) and the way I laugh... Btw in this picture my dad looks quite tired hmm... And btw again my younger bro's quite good looking rite??? hahaha. He's way taller than my dad.. Next time maybe I'll tell you a story about him ;p.

Yeah anyway this is for now. I guarantee you it'll be quite some time before I updated my blog again lol ;p!